Sometimes it's ok to fall apart...

She looks over at me and says, "Sometimes it's ok to fall apart."

 It had been almost a month since the ground started shaking. She felt something burning in her soul, convictions flying left and right. Wisdom and clarity acquired as requested in prayer. God finally gave it to her, and boy did it hurt. She said no. Hoping it was the voice of the devil she was hearing and not that of God, she ignored it. Went to bed, dreamt a little dream... Woke up the next day, put her pants on one leg at a time. Nothing was different about this day. Then the next day came and yet again, nothing new.

It was almost 2 weeks later she realized she was merely going through the motions. She got on her knees and prayed to God, for she then knew it was in fact His voice she had been hearing and she knew what she must do. She cried. She wept. A river of salt flowed from her eyes to her woumnded, aching heart, flowing through the cracks of a broken heart burning and stinging because she didn't understand how a God who had been so good to her could possibly hurt her so bad by making her walk away from someone she loved, someone who had become the glue that held the pieces of her heart together. That salt water dissolved all the glue...

 The epiphany came almost a month later, after she had already fallen apart. Crushed and defeated, angry and mistreated... The glue that had previously held her heart's pieces together was soluble. The glue that held her together was of this world and could be altered at any given moment.  Instead of giving God her broken heart to mend, she gave it to a man. It was a temporary fix. Held it in place for a while but she began to understand that God is the only bond that can hold a heart together. So she did what she had to do, she broke her own heart and his... And now, she's letting God put it back together.