here with me

 I wish the way we felt about each other was enough.

Enough to cancel the rules.

Enough to forget the timing.

Enough to make the world look away-just for a second.

Because when I see your name pop up on my screen, my heart says yes before my mind can  remind me of all the no's.

And every time we laugh a little too long, every time we say goodbye a little too slowly I wonder… 

What if this could be real?

But we live in a world where love isn't always the answer.

Where feelings come second to circumstances.

And even though you feel like home,

we keep walking past each other like strangers with secrets.

Even now, I still catch myself thinking about you in the middle of grocery runs, in songs we’d  share, in conversations where your name stays silent but your presence feels loud.

I just wish

that the way we feel…

Was enough to let us have one moment-unapologetically ours.

*here with me- Dido 🎶*

Tummy Hurts

 

While she slept, he returned, 

not as the man she used to hold, but as a feeling she never truly let go of.

In her dream, he didn't ask for forgiveness or closure…

He simply looked at her and whispered,

"Do you still think of me?"

She didn't answer right away.

But this time, her silence wasn't soft—

it was heavy with mood and everything she had once swallowed just to stay kind. 

No longer blood in her mouth… she cries back  “Why should I? 

You left me in the middle of the road, asked me to keep walking as if my heart hadn't just shattered. I don't think of you with longing anymore. I think of how quiet my soul will become once the spaces are void from where your love will no longer live."

She looked at him, but not with anger, instead with a sadness she had learned to carry- the kind that visits late at night, dressed as old memories.

"You're not the warmth in my smile anymore, but some days, I still think about how safe it felt to love you…

I miss the way you made me feel seen, the way you spoiled me with attention, how the world paused when you looked at me.

I don't wish you back, but I do miss what we were and I guess that's just the kind of ache I'Il carry forever."

And with only a kiss on his cheek, she stands to him, rising to her tippiest of toes and whispers in his ear, “You had access to a version of me you’ll never see again.”

Some goodbyes don't come with closure-just quiet acceptance of the love that once was.

*Tummy Hurts- Renee Rapp  🎶*

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

 

You Were Never Mine

You were never mine, but I held on like you were.

Checked your texts like I mattered, waited on replies like promises, read silence like maybe.

You never said you loved me, but your eyes almost did.

Your voice almost stayed.

Your touch almost meant it.

And I...

I built whole dreams on almost.

Wrote poems for a love that never began.

Grieved a heart that never called me home.

Isn't it strange?

How deeply we love

those who never ask us to?

* My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys- Taylor Swift  🎶*

Love Ridden

Some love stories make sense on paper.

Ours never did.

And yet, it's the only chapter I keep re-reading in my head.

I wake up some days trying to convince myself I'm over you.

That I've moved on.

That I've accepted how life pulled us in different directions.

But then, you text.

I call.

Or I see something that reminds me of you.

And suddenly, I'm back at square one,

wondering what it could've been if life had been a little kinder to us.

We still talk every day…

But we don't even know what we are.

But we both know, there is something.

Something neither of us has been able to walk away from.

It's the way you remember my coffee order.

The way I check if you’ve eaten.

The way we always talk like nothing's changed, even though everything has.

It's the fact that when something good or bad happens, you're still the first person I want to share it with.

Even if I know I shouldn't.

It's complicated.

People wouldn't understand.

But my feelings?

They're quietly loyal.

Still rooted in moments that never got their ending…

But you're not mine.

Never have been. 

Never will be.

We just. exist. 

Existed. 

In this strange, painful middle.

And maybe that's the kind of love no one talks about, the kind that lingers,

even when it's not allowed to stay.

 *Love Ridden- Fiona Apple 🎶*

Blindsided

"You seem better"

No. I've just gotten better at pretending… 

at holding it together in front of people…. 

at smiling when I feel like screaming…. 

at saying I'm okay because it's easier than explaining the storm I'm still carrying. 

Sadness doesn't always look like tears. Sometimes it looks like a perfectly normal day, performed on autopilot…  but the truth is, I still ache. I still miss him in the smallest moments. I still catch my breath at old photos, still avoid songs that remind me, still feel like I'm faking my way through conversations. 

Just because I've learned how to hide my blue doesn't mean I've stopped feeling it.

*Blindsided- Kelsea Ballerini 🎶*